\u201cIt makes more sense to live together, Wayne.\u201d Allison was being practical. They had been dating for eight and a half months, the last seven seeing each other exclusively. \u201cYou know I love you. I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep in your arms every night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sat at the kitchen table, smoking, as the woman deposited the dinner plates and cups into the dishwasher. After a lengthy silence, she added. \u201cMy apartment is eight hundred a month. I could pay half of your rent, and we\u2019d save a bunch of money. We could travel and have more money to go out. Maybe start a nest egg to buy a house or new car someday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wayne had heard this plea before, many times, even before he met Allison. He didn\u2019t want to lose her; she was the most interesting and capable woman he had ever met\u2014beautiful, warm, intelligent, and a lot of fun\u2014in and out of bed. \u201cI\u2019m just saying,\u201d he paused to formulate his words, \u201cthat people change when they move in together. Being around each other 24\/7 is an eye-opener.\u201d He stared across the table, tapping ash from his cigarette.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u201cYou know I\u2019ve lived with other women before. People change. It always happens.\u201d He considered her new insistence on sharing living space as proof.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid you love them like you love me now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat a silly question. You know I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I asked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Standing, he snuffed his cigarette out and emptied the ashtray into the metal can below the sink. From a few paces back, he read the vulnerability in her stance as he fought the desire to relieve the hurt in her eyes by simple acquiescence. In his silence, he re-lived the resentment and anger from previous breakups. When a couple moved in together, there was no reprieve; if a slow-burning distrust or resentment occurred, it ended only when life blazed out of control. Horrible and scarring. He closed in, kissed the top of her thick black curls, and looked purposely into her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI have never loved anyone like I love you. You mean everything to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen why can\u2019t we live together?\u201d the beautiful brunette asked again. \u201cThis apartment is big enough, and you know how few things I own. It wouldn\u2019t look crowded\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not that. At least mostly not that.\u201d Having heard her bring it up, he glanced around, envisioning where her things might go. He kept his place very neat out of habit. In the past, he wanted it to be presentable for any new woman he\u2019d bring home. Staring into space, faces of one-night stands, mostly happy even if short-lived, distracted him briefly. In many ways, freedom was exhilarating. But it also felt shallow. At twenty-nine, he felt rudderless, unattached, and as solitary as a lone hobo waiting in the rain for the next boxcar. He tried to ground himself, to be rooted, but his life still felt so insubstantial at times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat are you thinking about?\u201d Allison asked, faintly. She took his wrist and raised her voice. \u201cAre you thinking of another woman? Do you have my replacement in mind?\u201d Her voice began to crack, and tears began to form as she stared into his face. Memories of her father leaving her mother made Allison choke. She was ten, then, and the hurt still ran deep. She hated the idea of being alone, just like her mother had been for the last fourteen years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not like that!\u201d Wayne blurted out, then raised both hands, signaling to calm the situation. \u201cThere\u2019s no one else but you. Not now. Not in the future.\u201d He hoped his words would pacify her for now, but a new wrinkle appeared. If they lived together, there\u2019d be no place to retreat. Would all his future actions be scrutinized? Hanging out with friends, fishing trips, sporting events, working out of town, et cetera\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Allison wiped her eyes with her hands and tried to navigate around him. The bathroom was always a safe place to reflect. Regain composure. Fix smeared makeup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although confused, the man intercepted her and held her in silence. After long seconds, her stiffness melted into his embrace. After a full minute, she looked up, her tear-covered face wearing a smile and a question mark. \u201cDo you really love me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wayne kissed her wet face and mouth, then silently pulled her sobbing face into his shoulder. \u201cOf course I love you.\u201d He said, while silently thinking, What am I going to do?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cIt makes more sense to live together, Wayne.\u201d Allison was being practical. They had been dating for eight and a half months, the last seven seeing each other exclusively. \u201cYou know I love you. I want to wake up with … Continue reading