Lesson 14
Your Mission
My friend Zoe is super optimistic, she buys a lottery ticket every week, and works out how she will spend the money, dependent on projected jackpot amounts. Every week! Most of us have realised that it’s not people like us who win and only buy one if we see a sign unexpectedly, meaning that we were ‘meant’ to buy one, because ‘it could be us’! Or if we are in a syndicate and it’s too much hassle to leave. When it comes to men, however, she is a hopeless case, forget the fact that her first husband slept with the bridesmaid on their wedding day and felt so guilty that he had to confess, just as they were taking off for their honeymoon. That went well…
Zoe got to her destination and left her groom to carry on and have the honeymoon and found a flight to Morocco instead. She used his credit card for her whole 10 days holiday, she had so much fun, hot-air ballooning, camel riding, nights in the desert, anything that was offered was taken up, providing they accepted her (his) credit card. She flew back to Spain and had a couple more days in the sun and surf on the beach, this time with a man she met on the hot air balloon ride.
She was so sure of her luck, she nicknamed him her second husband. Unfortunately, two days later, he absconded with her first husband’s credit card and her wedding ring.
And this hasn’t put her off! She has been engaged twice since, but has not gone through with the wedding, nor been robbed again. As all of this has been documented on Instagram, most of our groups of friends know about her previous romances. Her most recent foray into the dating game has been kept much lower key. In fact, I only got to hear about it yesterday, when she asked me to do her a favour. I listened to what she wanted of me and immediately swiped my hand across my body, saying.
“No. I can’t do that! I wouldn’t do it for me, let alone anyone else!”
I kept resisting. She is very persuasive and as hard as I declined, she countered and gave me three reasons why I should.
Finally, I agreed to think about it. (I had absolutely no intention of agreeing to do it, but it was worth letting her think I was amenable.)
I lay in bed last night, trying to work out how to get Zoe to change her mind, or not to go through with it. Early this morning, I had a Eureka moment and discovered my latent acting talent. I have to thank an old episode of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ for the inspiration.
Making the most of the adrenalin circling in my system, no sleep and such distaste for the task ahead will stir this up. Having checked if they were online, I messaged the target,
“Hi handsome, I am intrigued at your profile on Tinder, I am staying not far from your pin. Do you fancy a hook up tonight? We don’t need to get heavy; I don’t even need your real name…”
Added to that was a very heavily filtered steamy photo of me. I put my finger in my mouth and nibbled my nail. I do that when I am nervous, but I took it straight out and twisted my fingers instead. Stuck for something to do while I wait for a message in return to mine, I filled the kettle and switched it on. The answer to any morning problem is, (as my mother would attest), a nice cup of tea, (or coffee, I don’t think she is that fussy).
A response was soon in my inbox, (or my character’s mailbox,)
It read “Hello there. I had plans, but I can shake them off. I would love to catch up with you. Tell me a time and I will be there.”
I leapt up as if the iPad had stung me! He had taken the bait. Now to mobilise Zoe and her friends.
We had to get into decorating my flat and especially my bedroom, or ‘boudoir’ as it would become.
