Lesson 13 Second Chance

Lesson 13

Second Chance

I hear a faint voice. It is close to my left ear, reciting the Lords’ Prayer. To those who hold a vigil at my bedside I am asleep. Yet my mind and emotions are on full alert. Tear drops escape and pool in my eye ducts. Again, I hear a voice.

“Leave them be, while tears are shed my mother lives.”

I recognise the voice. It’s my dear daughter. I try my hardest. But my eyes remain locked. A barrier between me and the living. Her gentle touch. Her fragrance fills the air. My head screams. I’m here, but my words are unheard.

“Your mother is tired and frail.” I hear the doctors’ hushed conclusion of my life.

Then let me sleep. I will gain strength and wake again tomorrow. Yet nobody hears my plea.

I drift and enter my childhood. A day where I yearned for the future. Now I long to relive the past and make all the wrongs right. I dream of younger days at the beach, my itchy nylon ruched bathing costume, where sea water collected in its folds. Attentive steps over laverbread rocks. I cling to my net, where tomorrow’s butterflies will rest. I hear my mother call; we are shopping at the local market. Fresh veg and a large chicken for Sunday lunch, before the walk back down the incline for an afternoon at the mission. Back when days were long and the sun always shone.

I enter the same mission and stand before an altar. Young, naive and gladly repeat my vows. Only to regret them later. A lifetime of lies. If I lived another day, it would be to put right all the wrongs Sam made against us. A silent veil encases me; I am swept up beyond the sun.

It’s true there is a light. The purest light, that draws me in. I sail through its quiet path. Taking in all its love. I slow and reach the end. Nothingness. I hear the herald angels triumphant call sounding. Its beauty beyond compare. Not yet a saintly voice calls.

I fall through a cloud and stand at my bed. Watching my loved one’s weep. And take a turn to say good-bye.

“I can’t do it. I can’t watch her go.” My body yearns to hold and quiet my daughter’s sobs.

What’s He doing here? You had no place in my life. I’m damned if you are going to see me die. My body shudders. My heads in a whirl. I gasp. Yet not my last breath.

“Quick call a doctor? “A distraught voice calls.

My eyes are open. I blink and as our eyes meet and I see tears pool in Sam’s eyes.