Lesson 4. A Break In.

Lesson 4. Dylan P

A Break In 

Could it be the wind? Did I leave the window open again? Daniel, laid motionless, concentrating on the rustling noise coming from the living room down the hall. He lifted his head slightly off the pillow, exposing both ears, as he stared blankly, listening. It has to be the wind, It probably blew the papers off the–BANG; A loud crashing sound, followed by shuffling, he knew then, there was someone in the house. 

Sitting up straight immediately, the sheets falling off of him, he stared at the bedroom door, hearing the creaks down the hall, and his heartbeat in his ears. 

Oh fuck, who is it? What do I do? He felt his stomach drop, followed by nausea as the blood rushed to his head.  His mouth was dry as it hung open.

What do I do? Think. Don’t forget to breathe. His chest hurt as it inflated, the ribs pressing against his racing heart.

Another noise, closer;  The bathroom? Are they that close to me? He was now off the bed, standing motionless, staring at the door, his back arched like a cat, his shoulders almost reaching his ears. The faint moonlight shined on the doorknob, shadows made it seem as if it was moving. Say something. Like what?  Yell you have a gun. What if they have a gun? Say you called the police. I actually should call the police! Why didn’t I call the police? Call the police, hurry up! Where’s my phone? Dial 911! 

Daniel fumbled with his phone, before whispering to the operator. She comforted him, asked him questions, said someone was on their way. Daniel asked what he should do, he could feel tears forming on the edges of his eyes, the knot in his gut tightening. When out of nowhere, a rush of adrenaline, and bravery, (or maybe stupidity) spewed from his mouth.  

“I’ve called the police! They’re already outside! Get out now!” 

He prepared for the door to swing open, his hands formed trembling fists, but it didn’t. Instead, he heard panicked footsteps rush away from him, the main entrance swung open, banging off the wall, as the intruder, or intruders hurried out– before all was silent again.

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6 Responses to Lesson 4. A Break In.

  1. MarleneMesot says:

    Hi Dylan,

    Great suspense. I like how Daniel talked to himself.

  2. john butler says:

    The tension generated is very crdible – very real – good piece, thank you for sharing

  3. jude says:

    You’ve included the personal responses to his mounting fear really well. This is a dramatic read with a great ending as he gets burst of courage.

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