PG Stone walked up Pine Lane to the large double storied white house. It stood hidden among tall pine trees on the left side of the lane. The pine scent and the cool shadows the trees gave were in contrast to the late afternoon hot, long walk up the hill from the village centre.
At the end of the short red brick path, a polished brass plaque on the green door announced he had arrived at Pine Lane Cottage. Below the plaque was a hand-scribbled white note (B&B welcome – coming). PG turned the brass doorknob, the door did not open. Rereading the message, Stone realized it did not say come in. Using the rusted cast-iron knocker, he banged twice on the door. He stood back, breathing the fresh cool air.
A face appeared at the parted lace curtain of a small window next to the door. PG heard the door unlock, then pulled inward, grating on the rough doorstep. The aroma of baked bread mixed with the smell of cooking flowed out. The young woman wiped her hands on a grey and white striped apron and held out her hand.
“You must be PG Stone, my security guy and guest. Welcome to Pine Lane Cottage. I’m Sarah.”
“Yes, I am. Hi, Sarah. You have a wonderful setting here. Is that lamb stew I smell.”
Sarah eyed PG Stone, surprised by his accurate sense of smell. “Your supper Mr Stone. Do come in,” Sarah said and stepped back from the door.
She led PG into the kitchen. Silver and Copper pots, spoons, and other cooking utensils hung from hooks in the oak shelves. On the shelves were jars of spices, herbs and seasoning, he was not sure of. Rose patterned cups, saucers, plates and egg cups displayed in a closed glass cupboard.
As Sarah passed the silver gas cooker, she lifted the lid of a stainless casserole pot. The steam rolled out and surrounded them.
“Yep, the lamb stew smells good and almost ready,” she said, her nose twitching. “Follow me, and I’ll show you your room.”
“What’s that?” PG asked, pointing at an object hanging at the side of the crockery cupboard.
“What’s, what? Oh, that is a Jaffle Iron. I’ll make you one while you’re here,” Sarah smiled.
They walked out a door at the far end of the kitchen. They turned left down a short passage; a gold Fleur de Lis on light blue wallpaper decorated the walls. The white ceiling helped the single yellow shaded light to show the framed pictures hanging along the passage walls.
“Who are these gentlemen?” Stone asked.
“Village elders, not all honest and not all good. You’ll find out.”
“Oh.”
“At the end of the passage is your room.”
Sarah opened the door to a light and airy room. PG stood back, staring with raised eyebrows at a young woman’s room. He didn’t comment, but Sarah sensed his dismay. She flushed and tried to explain the situation.
“Hmm…I furnish all my rooms this way. This is a Bed and Breakfast cottage for young women. You are the first male lodger.”
Your story builds a comprehensive picture of the house and some of its contents while leaving the reader with questions about ‘village elders,’ why PG is in the village as a ‘security guy,’ and why only young women lodgers – but now she has a male lodger – good story – thank you
Hi John,
Thank you for your valuable assessment of my description. I did not intend to leave so many questions as a result of describing the kitchen, the passage, the bedroom. I have a story plan in progress about Pine Lane Cottage and PG Stone. Thank you.
I enjoyed the detail in your description in the early part of the story and how you have used the different types of movement which are quite small but draw the reader in. More carefully worded descriptions inside really allow the reader to feel they are seeing the room.
Hi Jude. Thank you for your comment. When I wrote this description, I was conscious of showing and not telling. I know I should have described the kitchen more, but moved on down the passage. Thank you, Jude.
I like the sense of mystery, of things not being what they seem.
Hi Marlene. When I wrote this post I didn’t intend it to be mysterious but I will expand on the theme and develop a plot for a story. Thank you for reading and commenting on my post.
I enjoyed how your description pulled me in–especially the comments about the Gentlemen on the walls. “You’ll find out.” Then the surprise at the end with the room being so obviously feminine. Loved it.